The gay mayonnaise scandal: If only people cared this much about things that actually mattered

Several readers have sent me an update on the Heinz mayonnaise commercial "row" as it's being referred to in Great Britain. It turns out that Bill O'Reilly isn't the only one who's feeling insecure about his condiments. So many British viewers complained to the Advertising Standards Authority that Heinz voluntarily pulled the ad off the air.

File this under "you have got to be kidding me," but the The Telegraph reports:

Viewers complained it was "offensive, "inappropriate" and "unsuitable to be seen by children" and said it raised the "difficulty" of parents having to discuss same-sex relationships with their children.

And please understand that this ad never ran with the Saturday morning cartoons, after all. The British have far better ad restrictions than we do. From the Guardian:

The Heinz TV ad carried an "ex-kids" restriction, meaning it could not be shown in or around children's programming, because Heinz Deli Mayo falls foul of Ofcom's TV advert restrictions relating to products that are high in fat, salt and sugar.

So, in an effort to make Heinz stop this ridiculous cowering before a handful of complainers, the group Stonewall is calling for a boycott of Heinz. From The Telegraph again:

The gay rights group Stonewall has urged supporters to stop buying Heinz products.

Ben Summerskill, the chief executive of the group, said: "We're shocked that an innocuous ad should have been withdrawn in this way. I can't imagine that Heinz would respond to protests about black people featuring in their adverts.

"Our phones have not stopped ringing with supporters who are deeply upset."

Many thanks to all who sent me links on this story.

You know those annoying presciption drug ads? Turns out they're dishonest, too

In my household we have a joke about television's "dead hour," which is that period of time after the evening news ends but before the prime-time shows begin. If you're lucky, you can catch Jeopardy. But most often you have a choice of Entertainment Tonight, Wheel of Fortune, or Everybody Loves Raymond reruns.

Generally, this is when I go wash the dishes and put in a load of laundry.

But if you are watching t.v. during this time, you no doubt have seen the ads for various prescription drugs. You see that you can fix your blood pressure, insomnia, cholesterol, erectile dysfunction, rheumatoid arthritis, incontinence, etc. with one simple pill. Such healthy, active people in those ads! They hike, they birdwatch, they garden, ride bicycles, they row. And you can, too! "Here's to men!" Just "Ask your doctor if [PRESCRIPTION DRUG NAME HERE] is right for you!"

Well, now it turns out at least one of those ads is a tad bit dishonest. From the New York Times:

Dr. Robert Jarvik is best known for the artificial heart he pioneered more than a quarter-century ago. Since then he had toiled in relative obscurity — until he began appearing in television ads two years ago for the Pfizer cholesterol drug Lipitor.

The ads have depicted him, among other outdoorsy pursuits, rowing a one-man racing shell swiftly across a mountain lake. “When diet and exercise aren’t enough, adding Lipitor significantly lowers cholesterol,” Dr. Jarvik says in the ad.

A Congressional committee, concerned that the Lipitor ads could be misleading, has said it wants to interview Dr. Jarvik about his role as the drug’s pitchman.

Some of the questions may involve his credentials. Even though Dr. Jarvik holds a medical degree, for example, he is not a cardiologist and is not licensed to practice medicine. So what, critics ask, qualifies him to recommend Lipitor on television — even if, as he says in some of the ads, he takes the drug himself?

And, for that matter, what qualifies him to pose as a rowing enthusiast? As it turns out, Dr. Jarvik, 61, does not actually practice the sport. The ad agency hired a stunt double for the sculling scenes.

“He’s about as much an outdoorsman as Woody Allen,” said a longtime collaborator, Dr. O. H. Frazier of the Texas Heart Institute. “He can’t row.”

Whoops.